118. The Vacant Lot

© 2026 Robert Sickles

Now, for something completely different…

Here’s a fun topic. Bizzare maybe. There are numerous places on your body that have names and possibly functions that you may not be aware of. Or care about. Let me help with that.

The philtrum, for example, is that cute little groove below your nose and above your lip. Other than being a downspout for your runny nose and a thing a man has to learn how to shave around, I think it has no function—but a face just doesn’t look complete without it. Where the philtrum meets the mouth and makes a lovely little curve of the upper lip, that’s called Cupid’s Bow. I knew a guy who didn’t have one of those, and it seemed like his mouth could be turned upside down and it wouldn’t make any difference.

The purlicue is the webbed gap between your thumb and index finger, evidence of our genetic relationship to platypuses. The popliteal fossa is the back of the knee, which I am often aware of, as it is a reachable place for scratching my eczema. And the tragus is the cartilage flap in front of the ear—It really should function as an automatic trap door, but it doesn’t. Not on my ears, at least.

The uvula is the hangy doodle in the back of your mouth. It seems like a comical little blob, but it is essential for swallowing, sneezing, coughing and speech. Long ago I had an ENT doctor offer to  trim it for me as a way to treat snoring and sleep apnea. But after I read the cautions with the procedure, I decided to take a pass on the procedure. It seems the uvula is important for being able to swallow liquid without it erupting out the nose, and for pronouncing certain consonants. “Heyyo, my name is Rommerh Sihhes?”  

A bony bump on the back of your skull may or may not be where the bully whacked you with his bat in the sixth grade. More likely it’s the occipital protuberance where neck muscles attach to your head. Sounds significant. Imagine how your head flops around without that little knob.

Eyebrows are a vestige of our most prehistoric ancestors’ furry faces. Funny little awnings for our eyes, I suppose. They may seem like mere decorations, but try shaving them off and see if anyone knows who you are anymore. Experiments with airbrushed photographs proved that eyebrows are more important to our facial recognition than almost any other feature. And consider how important they are to communication, showing anger, skepticism, surprise, or worry.

Finally, I get to that little nook of your body, the crotch area between the genitals and anus, called the perineum. You probably never think about it except when you have just given birth, gotten off your first long ride on a bike or horseback, or are having a bout with some kind of fungus.  I think acrobatic sexual intercourse can also lead to acute awareness of one’s perineum. Or so I’m told.